https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-news/snl-cold-open-rfk-jr-makes-disturbing-announcement-about-flu-season-1235640835/
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“announced some worrisome changes to how Americans should think of cold and flu season.”
“'SNL' Cold Open: RFK Jr.”
“Kennedy Jr.”
“Makes a Disturbing Announcement About Flu Season Healthier Than Ever?”
“Makes a Disturbing Announcement About Flu Season The vaccine skeptic has to rename the time of year as measles cases rise By William Vaillancourt William Vaillancourt Contact William Vaillancourt by Email ‘SNL’: Watch Turnstile Perform ‘Birds,’ Medley From Album ‘Never Enough’ ‘SNL’ Weekend Update Roasts Trump’s Ballroom, Kristi Noem’s Divorce ‘SNL’: Taylor Swift Makes Surprise Appearance to Console Dakota Johnson Over Dating Musicians View all posts by William Vaillancourt October 11, 2026 Add us as a Google Preferred Source NBC/SNL On Saturday Night Live , vaccine skeptic Robert F.”
““So, here with an overview of how he’s making American healthy again is the only guy who snorts more Rhinohorn than me.” Kennedy, speaking shakily due to his spasmodic dysphonia, insisted—unconvincingly—that America “is healthier than ever.” “That’s why I’d officially like to rename cold and flu season to: cold and flu and listeria and measles and trenchbrain season,” he said, amid the country’s worst year of measles since 1991.”
“The research you provided on Operation Hellcruise will be vital for years to come.” Kennedy, while attempting his concluding remarks, seemed to glitch—then suddenly adopted a previously unheard voice: “And it’s been my esteemed pleasure to speak with you.” Trending Stories Why Is This Surprising Taylor Swift Deep Cut Trending?”
“Well, let me quote Lincoln—Park,” he said.”
““We’re also looking into something called testicular dementia.” Kennedy continued: “And, yes, 200,000 pounds of pork, beef and goat meat have been recalled, but I just want to stress that catfish, pony and cricket are viable proteins for any American family.”
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“Kennedy (James Austin Johnson) was introduced by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost), who was addressing USS Lincoln sailors returning to the states after their prolonged time at sea near Iran—a mission that reportedly saw several attempted suicides amid deteriorating conditions on the ship.”
““Now I realize you all returned home with a ship-full of weapons-grade diarrhea, but your health is of our utmost concern, starting…now,” the Defense secretary said.”